What an interesting week!!! Went to the shopping mall yesterday to weigh, and back down to 101.2kg. I think it helps alot that I have upped my water intake, as well as using fat free milk for coffee and tea instead of full cream.

Sugar is still a huge problem. I was never a sweet tooth until I had my son. I constantly crave sweet things, like chocolates and condensed milk. I've tried using artificial sweetner but it doesn't help. And it doesn't help either that our local shoprite sell fresh baked doughnuts topped with bar one sauce.

The lifestyl change is very slow, but I think more sustainable in the long run. Suddenly going healthy would be a shock to my body and probably hamper my determination to lose the weight, so the first change last week was to up my water intake, and this week I started using fat free milk. Next week it's exercise. So I'm trickinbg my body into a healthy life style.

I've also started taking better care of myself, making sure my make up is applied correctly and that I have a nice perfume or two. I even started a night routine, and bought some relatively expensive Avon creams but wow, the results are amazing.

Does anyone have some suggestions for home exercises that is not too strenuous on the shoulders? I'm having a shoulder op in two months time so don't want to do more damages. Something for the tummy and bum would be welcome.

Weigh Day...EEEEEK!!!!!!

I was supposed to weigh yesterday, but somehow the scale broke since I got onto it last Tuesday (I think my equally overweight boyfriend had something to do with this). I didn't expect to lose much, and when I got the bastard thing working again, I was right...103.6 again!!! So I had to go do some serious backtracking over what I had put in my mouth over the weekend and came to the conclusion that an entire bottle of Amarula and chocolates might be the cause. Just a quick note that said bottle was demolished over about three days and not all at once.

So I have decided that I need to up my water intake and I have to find another reason for wanting to lose weight other than wanting to look thin.

So here is my reason for wanting to lose more weight. His name is Zander and he is 14months old and undisputedly the love of my life and the reason why I even bother to breathe. I have often said that I cannot live without my son, that I would die if anything would happen to him.

But then why am I assuming he can live without me? My son loves me as much as I love him, and even though he has no sense of death just yet, he soon will and he will be terrified at the thought of losing me, just as it terrifies me to think I might lose him. The fact is, if I carry on stuffing my face and picking up weight, I will die and he will be without me. So I'm doing this for my nunubaba as well. I need to live for him, because no one can take care of him the way I can.

I have an interesting salad in for lunch, with mushrooms, tomatoes, pineapple and cucumber. I hate cucumber but ah well.

Goal for this week? Drink at least 4 glasses of water a day and try to drop one kg.

Thinning at a glance

This is not the photo I had in mind, but it seems the one i rally wanted to post has gone AWOL, so this will have to do.

Had a good day yesterday, the only real "naughty" thing was the five chips I had with me (home made) hamburger last night. But then seeing I only ate one hamburger and a few chips instead of the usual two AND chips I am pretty okay with that.

Feeling a little under the weather today, very tired and slightly light headed. I haven't starved myself and keep my bloodsugar levels in mind so I think it may just eb my body going through a sugar/carbs withdrawal. The plan was to have a lie down in our restroom this afternoon, but now I went and forgot my cell phone so I don't have an alarm to wake me.

Ditched the sugar on my cereal this morning, chances are it would just give me a short pickup before I crash completely so now I'm stuck with really yucky tasting cereal. I didn't make lunch so i have no idea whats waiting in the lunchbox, but at least Wouter supports me in this. Although I had to wait for him to go bath so I can chuck the butter toffee drinking yoghurt down the drain he bought me. THAT was hard...I just love those yogi sip drinks.....

Taking The First Step - What This Blog Is About

This is the start of a very exciting and very scary road for me. My inspiration for this blog lies in two things, a very couragous woman named Ruby, and my extreme desire to compete without failure.

Those watching the TSN Channel (183) on DSTV, will know Ruby. She has lost over half her body weight and is down to 350 pounds (about 180kg). Yes, you heard right...HALF HER BODY WEIGHT.

I have struggled with my weight for close to ten years now. I know where it started, and that will be part of this diary and I have an idea what factors are playing a role, but that all to follow in the months to come.

I have always made very half hearted attempts at losing weight, but never taking it really seriously. My biggest problems were 1) Never noticing I was picking up weight and 2) Looking thinner to myself than I really was. I just woke up one day and here I was 40kg lighter than when I went to sleep 10 years ago. Of course I noticed by having to buy bigger sizes, but I still didn't click. I still don't think I'm THAT FAT, but 101.6 is defenitely not small, so I no longer trust my judgement in how I view myself.

Last week I pulled the scale at 103.6, my heaviest ever. I once again made myself a promise to start dieting that very day........of course I didn't. So imagine my surprise yesterday when I got onto the bathroom scale and there it was 101.6kg. I got on twice after for confirmation and it came back affirmative. I had lost two kilo's in a week without trying. I know I drank more water, and unintentionally got a bit more exercise, but that alone won't make you drop 2kg.

I don't care if was water retention that added that extra 2kg, all I know is something in my head clicked. Like Ruby, I am taking this battle public, because it will be very hard on me to fail publicly. By doing this in view of everyone, I cannot fail, even if I wanted to.

The plan is to keep a food diary via this blog, as many weight loss programmes advise you to do. The plan is to start figuring out why I am addicted to food and what makes me behave nutritionally the way I do.

Because at the end of the day nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Planned for tomorrow: Pics of me weighing 53kg!!!!! Unbelievebale to think I used to wear a size 8!

Here is more about Ruby: http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp